11:16 a.m. April 30, 2013

Amanda Palmer Serenades The Great Killers

you don’t know how little you’ve been paying attention until you look down at your legs again.

you don’t know how many times you can say you’re coming until they just stop believing you.

you don’t know how orgasmic the act of taking in a lungful of oxygen is until they hold your head under the water.

you don’t know how many vietnamese soft rolls to order.

- Amanda Palmer, "A Poem For Dzhokhar"


For Ted Bundy and That Smile

Because you killed all those women and your eyes

Because Neil is boring as fuck

Because your hands around my neck

Because I’m actually famous and safe

Because Ann Rule was too old for you

Because the gray skies and laundered grunge of Seattle

Because the worst shall be first

= * = * = * = * =


Fire and Slice

Some say that murder’s finest stanza

Was daubed by Jack the Ripper;

From what I’ve seen of Adam Lanza

It’s obvious he’s (duh!) way hipper.

But oh, if we could hit replay

I’d watch the Ripper’s blood bonanza,

Then count up Adam’s KIA.

= * = * = * = * =


Amanda Palmer’s Ode to Jeffrey Dahmer (under the influence of Dr. Seuss)

I hate it when they go away!

I’ve found a way to make them stay.

I stab them once, I stab them twice,

I put their body parts on ice.

When I hear “Jeff, we’ve grown apart…”

I smoke his tongue and braise his heart.

= * = * = * = * =


A Poem for Joker (James Holmes)

With your eyes wide as hubcaps by the interstate succumbing to entropy

With your hair neon orange beautiful in the gun light

With your presumably sad childhood experiences you may have been abused I bet

With your uncompleted dissertation scrambled footnotes clear key deadline miss

With your body count from Nam and here I tie it back to the B-52s the planes not the band

With your pop culture allusion and the firepower to back it up

With your dead friend Heath slumped over your two gun shoulders like a bearskin cape

Will you go out with me?

= * = * = * = * =


For Amanda Knox: A Proposition

You found Amanda Huginkiss

And killed, but you’re no Dahmer;

Quit acting like the thug in this

And try Amanda Palmer.